To Date or to weight . . . the stress of being the perfect weight for the perfect date.

Does your weight ever influence your readiness to look for love, or to move forward in a relationship when love has found you?

Have you ever made a promise to yourself to lose the weight you determined was necessary to date only to find that you were unable to achieve your goal, and if you did, you would soon gain the weight back, and maybe a few pounds extra?

What is happening here?

The answers may vary, however the fundamental reasons are the same . . . When you  put your life on hold it is because on some level you do not feel good enough , or worthy enough to participate in the very thing that would bring you joy.  In this case,  having a sweet love.

Let’s take Jessica for example.  The thought of what it would feel like to have someone special in her life makes her feel so good until she takes a look at herself  in the mirror.  “How could anyone I want to date find me attractive?”  Do you ever feel discouraged or frustrated at the reflection starring back at you, and then use this reflection as an excuse to put off dating until you are what you believe would be the perfect size?

Jessica’s weight was a lifelong struggle. The more she focused on it, the more it consumed her. Everything she did was influenced by how she felt about her physical body, and how she perceived herself being ‘seen’ by others.  The more she focused on her weight the more of an issue it became for her. This is The Law of Attraction in Action.  It absorbed a phenomenal amount of her mental, emotional, and physical energy.  Not to mention the cost of depending on things outside herself in an attempt to make her situation better; the latest diet pill, diet, or work out that promised amazing results.  It was a major distraction for her; a distraction that made being totally present in any area of her life not an option for her. Have you ever been there, done that?  How did it work out for you?

For Jessica, not so well.  She realized it was time to tell a different story; one that supported what she wanted in her life. She began to look at her body differently;

Appreciating it, and accepting every pound.  In accepting her weight, she was accepting herself.  In her self-acceptance, she felt inspired to make changes because she knew it would make her feel better,  This meant reassessing what I call the Trilogy of Health and Wellness; emotional management, healthy nutritional choices, and body movement.

Her focused was now about what felt acceptable to her, not about what was acceptable to someone else.  With this attitude she not only achieved her desired weight, she met someone who loved all of her; mind, body, and soul.

The differentiator is not how much you weigh; it is whether or not you feel happy and healthy in the skin you’re in whether you have a love in your life or not. Do you?  If not, here are 8 tips that will help change that.

  • Address your stress; in your relationship with yourself, your friends, family, and co-workers, with your health, and your finances, as well as the stress you feel about not having a relationship and wanting one.  Address whatever it is that create s anxiety for you. 
  • Reassess you nutritional choices. Are you supporting or sabotaging your desire to have a healthy body, be a healthy weight, and have a sweet love?
  • Reassess your body movement. Are you giving your body the movement it needs to support you in living a happy and fulfilled lifestyle?
  • Appreciate your body; the weight it is, the health you have, and all the you are able to experience in your life because of it.
  • Find something about your body that you love, and focus on that.
  • Remember the truth of who you are; valuable, worthy, and divine.
  • You are not your weight, your worry, or any nonproductive behavior you may participate in, in an attempt to feel better .
  • Be compassionate with yourself as you take responsibility for, and if necessary, forgive yourself for the choices you have made that have up until now, delayed the manifestation of your goals.

You do not have to wait to date. You can love yourself right into the sweetest love relationship you have ever known while you are making changes in your life that support what you want, how you want to feel, and how you want to live your life.

This article contains excerpts from my book, Find Love at Last! 7 Steps to Attracting the Sweetest Love You Have Ever Known, available on

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